Yesterday, it was six days to go, and now it’s five. I’m learning to count. It’s good to see that English weather is doing it’s best to help me climatise to Honduras weather. It is also good to see Piers Morgan look like a complete idiot on Twitter. See below:
It turns out that this wasn’t actually THE Bradley Wiggins, but someone pretending. I do like that Piers Morgan looks like a complete numpty. I am all for freedom of speech, but with people like Piers Morgan, he should really sound out what he is saying first to a personal friend or a trustworthy colleague, before he comes out with the arse shite that he does. If someone doesn’t want to sing God Save the Queen, let it be. I bet the Queen hates the fucking anthym anyway. Jersusalem is far better anyway. Piers Morgan has made a fortune out of being a complete nonce. Bradley Wiggins has won gold through sporting achievement. I know which one I have more respect for. How about you?
Now, after denouncing Piers Morgan, I made a complete nonce of myself at my brother’s wedding. See below:
- On 7th July 2012, my brother Ben Rogers wed Catherine Binney after six years as boyfriend and girlfriend. It was at Deer Park Hall, which lies on Breadon Hill and has fantastic views over Worcestershire. I thoroughly recommend it if you’re getting married any time soon. Being best man, which I was, is always a pressure. Making sure the speech is perfect and the groom gets there is always nervy. Thank God, both things were fine and I felt well prepared. On the morning, though, young Leo was not too thrilled about wearing a suit. He kicked off in a terrific way. My brother bought him a tractor. He said no. He slapped. He kicked. He punched. He comprimised with shirt and trousers. Amongst the screaming, I made the cock up of a century. Catherine had surprised Ben by hiring a stag (car, not animal) to drive in. I kept touching my pocket to make sure the rings were there. Once we got to the venue, we had a chat with the registrar before the ceremony, and they asked me if I had the rings. It was there that I felt the shape of the box. Oh shit. No. Yes. It was. My f–king cufflink box. I was cursing everything. A sinking feeling. That’s the best I can describe it as. The temperature of the room suddenly shot up. I had swapped the boxes around and put the wedding box in my bag back at the house, over 30 mins away. The wedding was in 10mins. Phoned mum. Panic. In the end, my brother wore my ring and Catherine wore my cousin Hannah’s and it was the biggest cliche anyone could do. Leo clung onto his daddy throughout the ceremony, and Ella joined her mum. It was fantastic to see the family, close knit together, in front of the registrars. There were readings, one of which was a Pablo Neruda poem read by my cousin Hannah (I bought the happy couple a book of his poetry in both English and Spanish: I expect them to learn from that!!). I did once have that book but I lent it to a street kid at Casa Alianza and never saw it again. After the ceremony, we had champagne and then my dad broke the law a few times over and sped down country lanes back to Crowle to get the rings. We got them, sped back, and was back in time for the meal.
- For the speeches, it was great fun. About a month before, I decided that it was going to be a speech with a difference. My brother loves music, so lets make it melodic. I wrote a biography of Ben’s life through the music he’s liked through the years. My cousin Sam West, of Big Figure and I’ve spoken about before, did the acoustics. People loved it. The audience sang along and I was told it was one of the best speeches people have heard. Just to blow my own trumpet very loud. But my brother deserves the best, so I was very happy to do it for him. Cousin Sam deserves a massive thanks too. The day was beautiful and funny and dramatic and I will never, ever forget it. Here is a list of the songs:
- I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jr9hPbYmBo – Ben’s earliest musical influence.
- This Old House – Shakin’ Stevens – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3hkNZyMA80 – Ben when he was first strutting his stuff for the ladies.
- When Will I Be Famous – Bros – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szWkAaD00j0 – Ben’s blossoming acting career when he was young.
- Under the Bridge – Red Hot Chilli Peppers – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwlogyj7nFE – Ben’s other love affair, apart from his family. They just have to accept that Ben has, and always will have, a torch for Anthony Kiedis.
- Brazil football song – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=munMGzeqCQE – Ben and mine’s experience in Brazil back in 20o3.
- Kooks – Naive – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkaMiaRLgvY – Ben and Catherine’s songs.
- Tangled (Mandy Moore) – When Will My Life Begin? – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=je4nDvNJXsg – From the film Tangled, that Ben absolutely loves with all his heart and sings the song around the house. He sang the song during the speech but he didn’t really need a copy of the lyrics.
- Right Said Fred – I’m Too Sexy – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39YUXIKrOFk – Because Ben organised the stag do on Hurst Street on Gay Pride.