Tour de Reino Unido – part dos

Dear readers,

After having a good bash on the corrupting little immigration swine at the airport this time last week,  on the same day I received my ID card for my residence. I’m now officially a businessman and the co-owner of Top Translations. Now I’m busy getting the business going while working. Getting a website together is hugely time consuming. I’d prefer to do it in blog format. It’s easier to maintain more than anything. Here’s a link to my Top Translations facebook page. Please like it as it’ll get more publicity. https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1451459151791492&ref=bookmark.

Talking of Facebook, I announced getting my residence by saying the following.

“”Tu bandera, tu banderrraaaa. Etc etc” Sip, tengo residencia Hondurena!”

The “tu bandera” part in reference to the chorus of the Honduran national anthem, which means your flag. The rest of the status you can make out for yourself. However, as good French friends have pointed out, the words in French mean something quite different. Quite perverted in fact. It’s apparently the future tense for the verb “getting a hard on” or “having a wank.” As you can imagine, this terminology doesn’t come up on Google translator and I haven’t yet checked if there is a French version of the Urban Dictionary. Considering in the 5th verse of the Honduran anthem the French are mentioned in a positive tone, I think the cheeky bilingual lyricist knew exactly what he was doing putting in cheeky innuendos like that. Then again, it could be a perverse way of saying that Honduras must (should) stride forward (if you know what I mean. Wink, wink.)

Sunday, 6th July 2014

The first flight was a short one to El Salvador, quite a picture seeing the volcanos when going in to land. Just 30 mins in that airport and we were then pushed through security to our second flight going to Miami.

We arrived at Miami Airport, met by a friendly yet kind of sleazy border patrol man who wanted to know the martial status of our relationship and was not far from asking if we sleep together. He then exclaimed something I already knew and that was ‘she’s hot’ which I replied with a courteous ‘Yes, I know.’

We passed through all that and were met by Telemundo’s favourite superstar presenter Ana Jurka, who refers to me as Harry Potter and the craziest English person she knows. Another English person she knows is David Beckham (now you can see how privileged we felt to be in Ana’s presence). Ana is one of Pammie’s best mates, a Catracha who does quite an amazing job presenting sports at Telemundo over in Miami. Her husband Joshua is the son of Christian preachers who have lived in Honduras since the 80s (I think) and have a school in Valle de Angeles. Joshua is quite an amazing host, who could see that we were hungry and whisked us to an Italian restaurant full of cool and cute rooms and that served portions that can only be described as American but I’m still pretty sure the four of us demolished a portion that in England would be sufficient for 10 people. Having a couple of pints kind of sent me into a daze and I can’t remember much of the day, but somewhere along the line this picture was taken.

image

We got to Cooper City where Josh and Ana live with their dog Buddy, a big Golden Retriever. It’s a very new complex where they live, although the heat and humidity did send me into more slumber. Joshua made a lovely fish dish in the evening, and I’m sorry, but I can’t remember much more about the day. Zonkness doesn’t begin to describe how Pam and I felt. And it’s how I feel now, so goodnight.

About Nicholas Rogers

I am an English journalist/copywriter living in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, and I have been here since 2011. I originally came to work with Casa Alianza, which supports street kids and vulnerable youths. I then stayed on, after meeting Pamela Cruz Lozano, who calls me her adopted Catracho. I work freelance journalism and I have my own translation business. Why did I come here? For the challenge, to open my mind and get out of my comfort zone. I love literature and I've written a book with street kids. I write novels, short stories and poetry, all of which you will find on this blog, as well as a lot of information about Honduras. View all posts by Nicholas Rogers

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