Fuck ups

​Dear readers,

First of all, excuse the expletive in the title. I’m having one of those days where the fuck ups pile feels a mile higher than its accomplishments counter-part. 

A fuck up is often used as a synonym for a learning experience, perceived at first as something uncomfortable or maybe not very nice. While our sub-conscious takes the brunt of this learning, our conscious minds often take time to realise what we’ve learned from an experience, almost like a transition period where the fuck up bellows out and drowns out any success we’ve had, which can wobble the esteem, swim within our insecurities and manifest into depression. Sometimes we can’t put our finger on the fuck up, what we’ve learned exactly. You grasp but you’re just unsure. That’s me right now. This isn’t a call for sympathy: just a mind venting angst.

These musings could be inspired by me turning 37. Mid-life crisis? I don’t know. I guess I’m trying to find that trigger. The trigger when we look into the mirror and our eyes scream out, “You fucked up,” but finding that barricade that prevents us from beating ourselves up into metaphysical pulp. 

These ramblings seem to be going nowhere. Thus, I will end on a positive note, because below the angst, I feel the real me wanting to explode. The side I identify with the most. Positivity.

I am grateful for what I have and experienced in life. There are millions to billions far worse off than my very privileged self. I have the best family and friends in the world. I will overcome what I am going through. Whatever it is.

If you’re going through something similar, add a comment below. If not, enjoy the picture.


About Nicholas Rogers

I am an English journalist/copywriter living in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, and I have been here since 2011. I originally came to work with Casa Alianza, which supports street kids and vulnerable youths. I then stayed on, after meeting Pamela Cruz Lozano, who calls me her adopted Catracho. I work freelance journalism and I have my own translation business. Why did I come here? For the challenge, to open my mind and get out of my comfort zone. I love literature and I've written a book with street kids. I write novels, short stories and poetry, all of which you will find on this blog, as well as a lot of information about Honduras. View all posts by Nicholas Rogers

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: