“Bultos” in Tegucigalpa and Batman Fetishism

Dear readers,

Bultos are nothing new to me. I used to visit them frequently in the UK. To my understanding, in caliche Honduran Spanish, bultos translates as a type of second-hand shop. Some bultos label themselves as vintage and mark up the price by a couple hundred Lempiras (£7 or £8, in British talk), while others sell rags which I can only assume were intended for charitable purposes and given away for free from people who I can only assume hail from the US, but go on sale for anywhere between 20 to 100 Lempiras, depending on the type of garment i.e jeans or t-shirts. Obviously, the price varies on the quality, to an extent. Also, as you can expect from all second-hand stores, you often stand in awe at some former fashions, while sniggering at others and asking “what were you thinking?” at those who chose to wear it in the first place. You can also find t-shirts for bible camps or staff uniforms for random theme parts or fast food establishments, which gives you the feeling might never be sold, and nearly all sporting a sweaty, musky smell.

Like I said, I used to browse through British style bultos, especially in Digbeth, Moseley or Kings Heath in Birmingham. However, I was often hunting around the book sections for that unquenchable thirst for the written word. Now some bultos here do sell other types of second-hand junk, but the term bulto I believe is universally associated with second-hand clothes shops. And they have become something of a trend in recent years. And like any other second-hand shop around the world, success often depends on patience, timing, having time to wade through rags to find gems, and luck. These days, these four points I don’t possess much of, although my wife does; she’s a genius for spotting such items. She knows all the spots, from Kennedy to the centre of the city. She often treats me to a t-shirt or two, and I must admit, her keen and expert eye has brought me good fortune in the wardrobe stakes.

I have recently started a Saturday teaching job at IHCI (Instituto Hondureño de Cultura Interamericana), based in the academy in downtown Comayagüela. To those not in the know, Comayagüela is not safest corner of the world to go strolling around in, yet it’s close enough to reach from the centre of Tegucigalpa without having too much hassle. On that stretch of road one can kind quite a few bultos at the lower end of the economic scale. However, this doesn’t prevent my curiosity and I often take a look inside, especially when you see mannequins fashioning the below attire.

As you can see from the figurines in the window, it looks to be more of a vintage toy store. But just looking at this type of clothing, it does make you wonder of the bizarre merchandise pumped out when franchises like Star Wars or Batman hit the screens, and who on earth would design such a thing, let alone wear it, and also have the audacity to try and sell it? Surely, this particular garment is used for fancy dress, or by understanding, generous and open-minded (and no less unfortunate) girlfriends, who have boyfriends with an unhealthy Batman fetishism. If so, love really is blind. What I really struggle to comprehend is that, with all the problems in the world, ice caps melting, rubbish in the oceans, poverty, political issues, etc, and then someone has the time, energy and money to give such a piece of clothing a lease of life. At the same time, despite all my damning criticism, I am still fascinated by the absolute junk found in these bulto stores in that area, which become sources of curiosity and inspiration for blog posts like these.

Please, don’t pass me off as a complete snob; of all people I know that one cannot be picky when one needs to put food on the table. However, if any Tegucigalpa residents reading this are interested in such attire, you can find the store on the main road stretching between the Bellas Artes art school and the downtown Tegucigalpa area. And please excuse me if I offended any boyfriends (or girlfriends) with Batman or superhero fetishes in the writing of this article.

Being British and living with Brexit: a rant

Dear readers,

I will try and keep this short, sweet and uncomplicated: the exact opposite to the Brexit saga.

The Brits are good at sagas. Especially family sagas. The Royal Family has been one long living saga, and I was unfortunately born one of those Brits who doesn’t have the slightest bit of interest in that saga, yet I live a few thousand miles away where there aren’t many other Brits and people like to quiz me on it.

“Did you see the wedding last year?”

Nope.

“What were you doing?”

Polishing my tea cups.

“Will they last?”

No idea. Good luck to her.

There are many things I love about my country: the art, music, television shows, literature, sense of humour, roast dinners, pasties, chocolate, football, beer. Then there are things I dislike, such as imperialism, the bloody history, snobbishness, Marmite, tabloids, the class system, institutionalised racism, hooliganism, double standards and last, but no means least, politics.

I can sit in bliss reading Othello while listening to Let It Be one moment, then want to drop kick the TV screen when I hear that British politicians have yet again refused to come together to sort out what the f–k Brexit is, deals that don’t make sense, revoking articles left, right and centre, and we seem no closer to understanding the mess it is just a week or so before the EU deadline, which I hear has been delayed. It’s a tiny minority of people in power who are prepared to let the whole country look humiliated and weak before the rest of the world, not that the rest of the world gives much care anymore; unless you’re European and fearing a financial meltdown.

I don’t care who voted for what. It doesn’t matter. Is it a divided nation? No idea. You tell me. I live thousands of miles away. Collectively, on every side of the debate, the British people have been let down by the political elite, both on the right and left. Meanwhile, I read social problems worsen and the economy remains stagnant while indecision and bickering and bitching plagues the process.

Why? What good will come of this?

Just to think that the only reason there was a vote at all, on such a complicated issue, all because a certain David Cameron couldn’t resolve a party issue.

Either way, Brexit has severely damaged the reputation of the UK, and I don’t think blame can be pointed at the people: just those who represent them.

Rant over.

Now off for a cup of tea and to listen to Coldplay.

What are we supposed to feel about disgraced celebrities we once idolised?

Dear readers,

A fortnight or so ago, the premium cable and satellite television network, HBO, produced the documentary, Leaving Neverland, about the former King of Pop, Michael Jackson, which goes into depth about the child molestation crimes he has been accused of committing. Firstly, I must point out, I’ve not seen the aforementioned programme, yet I’ve noted the reaction from the mass media, as well as from fans, which is bordering disturbed to fascinating.

As stated, I’ve not seen the programme, so I can’t comment on the contents and whether I believe the accusers, as my thoughts would only be based on heresy and opinions I have read in the press. However, these child abuse accusations have been following Michael Jackson long before his death a decade ago, which damaged his legacy to an extent, yet the radio and TV networks still played his music and, on the most part, people had turned a blind eye to the accusations; or rather, listened to his songs a little uncomfortably.

I, like many in my generation, grew up listening to his music and there were seasons of my life when I did idolise him. Nearly all the boys in my year 6 class did. It was either him or the Liverpool forward John Barnes that we tried to mimic in the playground. I never got the hang of the moonwalk, but I remember asking my mum for one white sequinned glove, which she raised her eyebrows to. I grew out of it (without the glove, I should add), although I looked on from afar and admired some of his work: not all. His Jesus complex didn’t sit well with many, especially in the UK when he behaved a little bizarrely on stage during some concerts, and MJ was mocked a little more when the Pulp front man, Jarvis Cocker, entered the stage to do a little bum wriggle during a UK award show. The accusations began to surface which really made people question the man’s character, as well as having copious amounts of plastic surgery to change his skin from black to white. However, his musical talent couldn’t be denied.

Now, in the aftermath of the documentary, many radio stations have come out and stated they will no longer play his music. I must admit, I was in a taxi last week when the song Heal the World came on the stereo, and I too felt I’d been pricked by the mass media hypodermic needle as I listened on uneasily. On the other side, many MJ fan groups have come out in their thousands to protest criticize the show and labelled the accusers as liars, with two of the accusers facing legal action from fans in France for apparently “sullying” his memory.

Between the two extremes, many of us humble admirers in the middle feel a little unsure what to do. Are we just supposed to turn off the tap our nostalgic emotions and fight our conscious, or refuse to listen to him in protest and anger? There’s some soul searching to do, either way.

I feel in a similar way to Woody Allen and Kevin Spacey, and to less of an extent, Bono from U2. (My God, even Peter Beardsley). Their sins have been judged and scrutinised by the media, some more serious than others, which have left a black mark against their artistry, that make us feel a little uneasy about enjoying. Should we let the media control what we like and dislike? Should I feel bad about liking a movie by a man accused of sexual crimes? Are we breaking some moral codes by remaining to enjoy their work? Obviously, we should let our own consciouses decide. However, there are many shades of uncomfortable grey, and I no longer know what to think of people I used to idolise. What do I do?

WRITER’S TIP: How to Persevere when writing a novel

Dear readers,

Perseverance: It’s the lack of it that prevents most amateur writers from being professional. Coming to think of it, it’s the lack of it that prevents most from excelling in nearly all vocations. It’s not easy to build. Nearly all writers, professional or otherwise, have novels partly written and they’ve just run out of steam or lose momentum from not continuing with a certain habit, leaving it for a couple of weeks and then forgetting about the plot or characters. And all your hours of hard work fall into the hell of broken and incomplete novels.

I should know. I have a few.

It’s difficult. It’s true. We all have jobs, families, careers, problems, or commitments that take up our time. Then again, so have many published writers. But perserevance and commitment pulled them through. Take one of my favourites: Roddy Doyle. He was a teacher while he wrote The Barrytown Trilogy. It was only after his fourth novel when he gave up his day job. How on earth he managed to find time to write in a career that takes so much of you’re time and energy is beyond me. But he did it. Maybe it was the mental image of saying feck off to the little gob-shites that kept him ticking over.

This is a message to myself more than anything: don’t make time restrictions an excuse. And get off your arse and stop looking at Netflix.

I have read a couple of books on this to help me to build a writing habit. One was The 90 Day Novel by Alan Watt. On the whole, it’s useful. Watt charts out how to create characters, a plot and write the first draft, as you may well have guessed, over a 90 Day period. He waffles on a bit, but on a bit, but it helped me only up to a 60 day mark, and then I lost interest or his idea of a plot didn’t fit into my project, and I’d get bored. It’s a useful tool though. Don’t discount it.

I downloaded the programme New Novelist. Two versions I downloaded in fact. It gave great alternatives for different plots and characters, yet it still missed how to pace a book, how to build a writing habit. A great word processor mind, with great little add-ons and tools for developing ideas, but it only completes part of the process.

I downloaded the app Writeometer, where you start a project, put a deadline of an amount of words and it charts out a certain amount of words you must write daily. From watching various YouTube videos about writers telling of their writing habits, this is a common strategy. However, for many novices, it is often difficult to know how many words your project will be, and it is quite difficult to keep up if your app is expecting you to write 750 words or more a day. The pro to this app, as well as many like it, is that it helps you chart and keep track of your progress, which can motivate you during the vast marathon of a novel. If charting your word count floats your boat, great. Many of these apps are free. Some might have premium accounts, which I’ve never tried. Leave your comments below if you have. Any good?

By accident, in my many hours of procrastination, I came across the concept, Kaizen, which is designed for lazy people like me, who put off doing things out of fear or idleness. Fear? you say. Why fear writing? Surely there are more important things to be scared off, like nuclear war, terminal illness, natural disasters, financial disasters, little angry dogs with a Napleon complex. Yes. All very true. But after having a few meditative highs through practicing Mindfulness, I found that I had this strange complexity for not doing things I enjoyed out of fear, maybe because the thought of a novel was a project too big and grandiose for me to handle. This left me pissed off with myself: a mentality that left me in a cul-de-sac of zero productivity.

As life often does, it throws at you little ideas out of the heavens when you need it. And this is exactly what the Kaizen principle is: an idea from heaven, or more precisely, Japan. I’m no Japanese linguistic expert, but I can tell you Kai means change and Zen means good or wise. The concept requires a person to practice an activity for one minute every day at the same time. This then turns into a habit over time. It’s practiced in business as well as self improvement, and can be applied to many areas of life, helping to break down activities into minuscule chunks, making it much bearable to take on new challenges. It’s also useful for those who make a lack of time as an excuse for not starting something new. So, if word counts don’t do it for you, try Kaizen, or something like it, as this is exactly what I have done and it’s working a charm.

In my case, I have increased one minute to 20 minutes. Not only that, I usually find that I go way over 20 minutes, and by the time I’ve run out of creative steam and flow, an hour or so has passed and I’ve written three pages or more without even realising it. Agreed, it’s easier for me as most days of the week, I’m on the bus to work for three hours, meaning that all I need is a pen and paper, a colleague not to interrupt me and to ignore the crater like pot holes shattering the suspension and my skull against the window. If anything, all those things inspire me in one way or the other. Why 20 minutes? 30 minutes feels too long and arduous; 15 feels pathetically short. 20 minutes is my pain threshold for writing, as laughable as it seems, and it works for me.

Like Writeometer and other writing apps, you can find a habit app where you can input how much time you spend daily doing a certain activity. I use Goalmap. It helps you keep track of your averages and how many days in a row you’ve been doing something. Visuals and information like those below help motivate me.

As you can see, I actually manage 55 minutes and I am currently on a 59 day binge of writing. Kudos to me. Take that self-doubt and procrastination. It does make me wonder how Shakespeare and Miguel Cervantes et al managed to get by without all these tools, but history tells us they persisted through there own methods to write works of art that were groundbreaking and still have an impact on literature today. None of the methods above may appeal to you. That’s fine. You need to find a way that works for you and your personal situation.

After all, there’s only one wrong way, and that’s to not persevere at all. In short, to write nothing.