What are we supposed to feel about disgraced celebrities we once idolised?

Dear readers,

A fortnight or so ago, the premium cable and satellite television network, HBO, produced the documentary, Leaving Neverland, about the former King of Pop, Michael Jackson, which goes into depth about the child molestation crimes he has been accused of committing. Firstly, I must point out, I’ve not seen the aforementioned programme, yet I’ve noted the reaction from the mass media, as well as from fans, which is bordering disturbed to fascinating.

As stated, I’ve not seen the programme, so I can’t comment on the contents and whether I believe the accusers, as my thoughts would only be based on heresy and opinions I have read in the press. However, these child abuse accusations have been following Michael Jackson long before his death a decade ago, which damaged his legacy to an extent, yet the radio and TV networks still played his music and, on the most part, people had turned a blind eye to the accusations; or rather, listened to his songs a little uncomfortably.

I, like many in my generation, grew up listening to his music and there were seasons of my life when I did idolise him. Nearly all the boys in my year 6 class did. It was either him or the Liverpool forward John Barnes that we tried to mimic in the playground. I never got the hang of the moonwalk, but I remember asking my mum for one white sequinned glove, which she raised her eyebrows to. I grew out of it (without the glove, I should add), although I looked on from afar and admired some of his work: not all. His Jesus complex didn’t sit well with many, especially in the UK when he behaved a little bizarrely on stage during some concerts, and MJ was mocked a little more when the Pulp front man, Jarvis Cocker, entered the stage to do a little bum wriggle during a UK award show. The accusations began to surface which really made people question the man’s character, as well as having copious amounts of plastic surgery to change his skin from black to white. However, his musical talent couldn’t be denied.

Now, in the aftermath of the documentary, many radio stations have come out and stated they will no longer play his music. I must admit, I was in a taxi last week when the song Heal the World came on the stereo, and I too felt I’d been pricked by the mass media hypodermic needle as I listened on uneasily. On the other side, many MJ fan groups have come out in their thousands to protest criticize the show and labelled the accusers as liars, with two of the accusers facing legal action from fans in France for apparently “sullying” his memory.

Between the two extremes, many of us humble admirers in the middle feel a little unsure what to do. Are we just supposed to turn off the tap our nostalgic emotions and fight our conscious, or refuse to listen to him in protest and anger? There’s some soul searching to do, either way.

I feel in a similar way to Woody Allen and Kevin Spacey, and to less of an extent, Bono from U2. (My God, even Peter Beardsley). Their sins have been judged and scrutinised by the media, some more serious than others, which have left a black mark against their artistry, that make us feel a little uneasy about enjoying. Should we let the media control what we like and dislike? Should I feel bad about liking a movie by a man accused of sexual crimes? Are we breaking some moral codes by remaining to enjoy their work? Obviously, we should let our own consciouses decide. However, there are many shades of uncomfortable grey, and I no longer know what to think of people I used to idolise. What do I do?